Please Note: The Unfortunate Animal of the Month Club is now closed. If you’re missing an already-ordered bunny, contact me.

 
 

RaccoonBall
He’d reeeeeeeeally like to attack someone, but sadly, he can’t. With his very round body, flappy tail and stubby limbs, he’ll only be capable of speed if someone shoots him from a cannon. Needless to say, all this has made him very, very angry. “Come get some!”

Claud
A no-real-parts conjoined White Bear with claws made of epoxy.

2 faced bastard!
Ahem. Here is a nice 2-faced bear executed in a nice brown, with red eyes *and* blue eyes…you change it by twisting the head completely around (which of course is fun already). See? Blue can be more sinister than red, sometimes!

ProudFEET!!
“Oh sure, I have no arms and you think you can take me…but they don’t call me Happy Feet for nothin’!” Rattlehead, has pellets so is not babysafe.

Whoa, Dude! Alien
This babysafe alien has 3 ears and six limbs, but cannot have more than the current 2 eyes and remain nominally babysafe. While his streaky ’do does make him look like a surfer…from the ’80s…well.

Nuclear Mutant Bear
There’s something almost Indian-god-y about this little guy. As with all aliens, all 6 limbs do rotate properly.

White Centaur Bear
This is what happens when you cross a harp seal, a centaur, and a teddy bear, so let that just be a little lesson to you!

Snowflake
Why did this unpreposessing bear want a sweater set? I don’t know these things, sheesh! Well, it *does* come off, you know.

Hairy ’Pede This thing gets furrier the farther from its head you get. Sort of like some people I know.

Snow Ninja
Okay, it’s a big alien (over a foot tall) bunny, but *look* at the paws, man! And the boooones! Wait, wrong movie. Very fluff-a-riffic, all 6 limbs turn as usual, has 3 ears. Heavy!

Real Skully-Headed Critter 1
A touch smaller than the others, limbs do not turn, but all these are appealingly poseable, and, well—they have squirrel skulls for heads! This one has eyes, so it’s the poster child for the others.

Pinky
This fellow does have turning limbs.

Real Skully-Headed Critter 2
In a smoother pink, we have a bit of a girly thing. or poncy? Shall I shut up?

Real Skully-Headed Critter 3
This one does seem to want eyes, with perhaps pale surrounds…. See the little teefers? Cute!

MonkeySkully Icon
A prize jewel from my personal collection: this is an actual, carefully dyed, baby vervet monkey skull. I have my CITES to prove the legality of it.

Icon
Icon is the official mascot and icon for ISOAR. The cutest teddy bear in the world, he has a catskull head and a squidgy widgy body.

Icon Bear
In the fine tradition of Icon comes a faithful follower…yes, Chad, he is YOURS now.

Rudolpho the Mutant Reindeer

Festively dressed in holiday attire, this puppy could light up a freeway if those noses start to glow. Long floppy legs mean proper monitor- or shelf-sitting attitude.

Flying Monkey

I’m really desperately trying not to say that this monkey came out of my ass, because frankly it isn’t true. Nope. Sorry.

Flying Mandrill

Has requisite multi-coloured butt. This thing started out life as a Beanie Baby named “Cheeks”—honestly, and people say that I’m sick?

Green Alien Bear-thing

Oh, god. Six arms, deep bulbous eyes, and antennae. What could be nicer? Top arms wired so you can wiggle one to make the other one wave at people. About 9 inches.

Big-Eyed Rattle-Head White Bear

Squeeze his armless little torso tightly, and be rewarded with an appealing look from his big soulful eyes…shake him viciously for rattly goodness. Especially recommended for babies who may bite off the eyes and choke to death.

Alien Bear

Dark and strange, just like people you know.

Lilac Lady

Glass and metal set into bone, this skully-headed delight should not be swallowed, even by a professional. Don’t risk it. Stick to fudge.

Siamese Pandas

Joined at the hip. And the shoulder. And the waist. Right. I have no idea what it is down there that has frightened them both so badly…normally they don’t have so much of The Fear. Hmmm.

Large Icon Bear

What to do when you callously rip the head from one bunny to sew to another? Give it the gift of a new head, of course, in this case a genuine bobcat skull set with marvelous eyes that shimmer with great depth in the light. At approximately 1' tall, this is much larger than Icon Bear (see above).

White Two-Headed Bunny

I’d like to introduce you to Mister Blue! Mister Blue thinks you’re cute. Lucky for you, Mister Blue still cannot handle the telephone

Alien Duck

It has recently come to my attention that this duck has a concussion. It must have fallen down the stairs. Or run into a door. In the night. Somewhere.

Lime Green Two-Headed Bear

Now with 30% less slime!

Extremely Alien Panda

The eyes!! Oh god, the eyes!

 

Here are some examples of the styles of Unfortunate Animal: